Did you know that the first thing God wanted to give Adam, is a wife? God put Adam in a family not just to live together and raise children. Family means much more to God. The moment you accept Jesus into your life, God wants you to be in ‘His family’. Sadly, the one who gets the beautiful smile from you is probably your neighbor. How pathetic! Most Church goers are quite unaware of the Biblical principles of marriage.
Keys to family power:
Let’s say God gave a gift to you one fine day. How would you handle it? Will you just put it in a corner and care less for it? I don’t think so. I am sure you would handle it with great reverence and rejoice over it.
The Bible says, ‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord (Pro 18:22) The most unwanted person cannot be your wife! God found your spouse to be the best one for ‘you’ in the whole world and you have nothing to comment on His choice (if you claim to be a child of God).
Wives need to respect the husband (Eph 5:33) There may be differences in the upbringing and differences in other things. But that has nothing to do with respect. Learn from Sarah, Abraham’s wife! She ‘obeyed’ Abraham calling him Lord (1Pet 3:6) Where is that obedience? God is looking for women who will adorn themselves with ‘submissiveness to their own husband’.
Jam 4:1 says, ‘What causes fights and quarrels among you? They come from your ‘desires’ (selfishness). You want it your way. Are you asking God to use you? Your house is the best place to start with and you are already in your mission field. Who is a minister? a servant. I am not talking about having a poor self-esteem. I am talking about ‘behavior’. We all have to learn from Jesus. Jesus said, ‘Even the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve…(Mk 10:45) We’ve got to be willing to lay down our own selfish desires and learn to be a servant. Paul says, ‘We should have the sane attitude of Christ (Phil 2:5). Gal 5:13 says …through love, serve one another. Love should become the driving force.
3. Pray for one another:
You release the power of God when you pray for one another. Jam 3:16 says, ‘where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work’. Prayer will stop anger, strife, envy and selfish ambition. It is difficult for you to criticize and quarrel with someone you are praying for at the same time. As you pray for your spouse, your attitude towards your spouse changes first. Then, the Spirit of God works through you. Ecc 4:12 says…a threefold chord is not quickly broken. The relationship of a husband and wife gets strengthened when the love of God is poured into their lives.
4. Speak good about each other:
1Pet 3:9 says, not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, blessing.
Words have power to build you up or break you down. You may choose to edify or choose to destroy. Every time you talk good about your spouse, you make your spouse important. The value of your spouse goes up. On the contrary, if you make cutting remarks and always bad-mouth your spouse, what you actually do is, you are bringing down the value of that person. If you continually depreciate the family member, particularly the spouse, you will get to a point when you feel it is not worth living with that person any more. Why? They have depreciated all of the value out of that person and out of that relationship.
5. Invest yourself:
Love is spelled T-I-M-E. Spend time with your spouse. It is what builds the relationship. Not talking about the general stuff like weather and the stock market. But open up and share what is in your heart. You should take time to listen to your spouse, hear the heart and share the joy and sorrow. ‘Joy multiplies and sorrow divides, when you share’.
Many times, the friend knows the details of your home better than your spouse does. This is a very unhealthy practice. Your spouse should be the ‘first’ one who knows all about you. Consider it a joy to share with your wife next to God. Do not make the atmosphere in your home heavy. Make it lively. One has to make a conscious decision to have fun with the family members. God is interested in family.
Read the following words of Jesus carefully:
“Every house divided against itself will not stand”(Matt 12:25)
“Every house divided against a itself falls (Lk 11:17)
Is there a division in your house? This is not the time to compromise. Deal with it! Reconcile your differences. Never accumulate it. Learn the vocabulary “I am sorry” “I am wrong” “Please forgive me” That will become the healing balm that binds together. The moment there is no understanding in our dwelling place, your prayers are ‘hindered’ (1Pet 3:7) What good is a prayer if it is hindered? You are the one God is counting on to take the first step. Clothe yourselves with humility. We need power to overcome the attacks of the devil against our relationship.
May the Lord strengthen our marriages, homes, families and relationship.